I am currently working on a cd of my songs of empowerment – called “The Power in YOU.” I will leave this cd at cancer centers and doctors offices I frequent when I am in San Diego and Los Angeles and hopefully be able to send them by mail to anyone who needs one. I am raising money for this project now. The songs are all in the swing, blues and jazz style and are the songs I sing in my job as a blues singer. They celebrate love, life and inner power with titles like I’m the Toughest Girl Alive;” “Im a Super Hero” ‘Im gonna be just fine” “Im not getting older, Im getting better.” “Fit, fat and fine” and many, many more. You can donate to this campaign now or you can download these songs individually at Itunes or Amazon. (But then you’d have to pay for the songs!) To donate now go here:
http://igg.me/p/375904/x/195505
I believe anyone can stand in front of a mirror or in the sunlight and say “Im going to be well. I will survive” etc but I believe that when these words are sung, it brings the music into our bodies and minds and souls in a sensory way. Speaking the same words does not have the same impact as singing the words. I am still touring all over the globe as much as possible, sick or not sick, Im on that bandstand most nights belting out the songs I speak of. When I sing “Im the Toughest Girl Alive! I walk thru the fire and I survive, I’ve been beat up, burnt up, broken down, but they just cant keep me down…!” The strength and power of these words coupled with the catchy melody and the belting nature of the words strengthen me from the inside out. My head is full of the music. My ears hear it. My voice travels thru my diaphragm, up into my chest cavity. I breathe deeply, stomping my feet in time. dancing, and singing and feeling the music all over my body and soul. My tongue and teeth feel the words roll across my palette. I am healed from the music from the tip of my hair to the bottom of my feet. I become the toughest girl alive in that moment and they just cant keep me down. Theres something magical about music and the way it touches us on so many emotional levels. Music is insidious. Music is pervasive. Music is spiritual. It sinks in and makes a home – an imprint – in your memory – on your psyche. Its why we remember that silly song from the 80s “867-5309” — Most of us of a certain age group, remember the song but we cant remember our own cell #! Why? Because the song was sung to us and then we sang the song over and over. Its my hope that cancer fighters and anyone else facing a life crisis will sing “I’m a super hero! I’ll keep on fighting! Theres no way Im leaving without trying.” and BELIEVE THE WORDS. OWN THEM and make them YOURS. I m certain there is a reason I am still here and I dont believe in a God who decided who will live and who will die. I think its much much more complicated than that. We are given battles in our lives and how we face them is crucial. Its a moment of truth. How much do we love our lives? How much do we want to live? How badly do we want to stay on this plane with the loved ones we have? If we want it very badly, dancing and singing about how we will over come is just one tool i use to empower myself! Music and Words strengthen me and give me courage and guts when I need it most. They dont have to be sung to anyone else or shared with anyone. They can be your personal private songs that you sing in the shower or in your car or each morning when you rise. But I have been surviving and beating cancer since 2007 and i believe music heals. “Im gonna be just fine. Im gonna be just fine. Im gonna live till 109. Im gonna be just fine.”
When I was first diagnosed with cancer, after the dust fell and i had a chance to calm now and really assess my situation; I felt really lucky. My family doctor, Scott Mercer was trying to gently break the news to me and I said “Hey, if its my turn to go, Ive had a great run!” He smiled broadly and said that he had never heard a response like that from anyone who was being told they had cancer. But I felt oddly optimistic about it Not only had my cancer been found relatively early and was operable, but I had also been in the habit for years of writing and practicing empowerment thru language and song. I was raised in an extremely verbally abusive, dysfunctional family. My mom had her own nightmarish childhood w a mentally ill mother, an alcoholic father and one schizophrenic sibling, so she was taking care of an abusive group of adults at an early age. Children learn what they live, as the old poem says, and she learned to be verbally abusive, pelting me with insults and four letter words from the time I could walk. Because the names were so heinous and awful – (often mentioning certain body parts I didnt know existed), I swore to myself that I would never verbally abuse my own children. So as a young mother, i started writing songs to tell my kids how much I loved them and to tell myself I was good enough and worthy enough to be loved by other good people. Words have so much power and I had become a victim to the menacing four letter words of failure that my mom hurled at me. I reversed my own destiny by literally rewriting the script. I wasnt a “stupid girl who would grow up to be a criminal like my real dad,” (My bio-dad was in Chino State Prison at the time of my birth.) I wasn’t a “no good, useless, loud mouth attention starved bitch” when I failed to clean the kitchen properly. I was just a scared little girl and then a confused teenager looking for someone to tell me the words I need to hear – That I was capable. Smart. Pretty. Loved. I waited for a long time to hear those words from someone – and eventually, I just wrote the words myself. Cancer has blessed me and made my life better. One of the most significant ways has been my own ability to share my songs of power and most importantly, my words of optimism and positivity with others. I still have dark days where the pain is too great to do anything else but lay around and cry or give in to a pain pill fog. But laying around being sick somehow never prevents me from turning on the cd player and playing some of my songs over and over ” I wont let it get me down – i’m gonna get back up and stand my ground – I’m gonna show who’s boss to everyone who’s watching – I’m a super hero!”
and when I am blessed to sing these songs to an audience, sometimes magic happens. People come up and share their stories with me and I am honored to be the keeper of these precious memories and experiences. I am so blessed to be a singer and songwrter and be able to spread the words to blues fans who need the encouragement. Please consider donating to the cd if you can so I can offer it free to anyone facing a life crisis. Cancer will effect all of us at some point in our lives. Its what we do with this experience that ultimately defines the winners and the losers – the fighters and the quitters. Dont be a quitter. YOU can beat this and there are many of us around the world who believe you can do it!
STAY TOUGH WONDER WOMEN AND SUPER HERO MEN! xo
candye ❤
candyekane 